The Sevco Songbook

On the fourteenth of Feb two thousand and twelve We set sail up the Clyde for Ibrox. We were on our way there with a cargo of shite From a man with big hands from near York. What a ramshackle craft! She fooled only the daft And those to whom truth was a stranger. But the press were convinced When we served them lamb minced And they called her the Glasgow Rangers. We had sailed several years when reality struck And our ship ran aground on the rocks. And our fake Rangers crew was reduced by the crooks To 'loan Rangers', free transfers and crocks. We could not reach the bank Our coach walked the plank Our sails were condemned as a danger. Bookies cancelled all bets And we drowned in our debts. We're the last of the 'Glasgow Rangers'.

Oh Father why are you so sad On this home cup tie morn When Ibrox men are proud and glad Of the heated ba' we've drawn? My son it seems a memory stirs  Of far off distant days When being a young Hun like you I watched the Raynjurz play. Where is the club I used to see When 'history' was made With EBTs that were tax free And debt we never paid? And now at home we watch a clone That wears our made up stars But people know it's just Sevco And laugh at us in bars. They say 'Gers died And split their sides When we say they're the same Even worse Sevco's going bust And heading down the drain. Where is the club I used to see From whom we stole the name? We like to claim the history But don't accept the shame. And so my boy I've told you why When Sevco play I cry. For I recall we did fuck all As we watched the old 'Gers die. It was long ago before Sevco The Billy Boys and me Watched as our side began it's slide Into insolvency. Where is the club ...

And now the end is near And Sevco face the final curtain My friends I'll say it clear I've laughed so much my sides are hurtin' They thought that we were fooled With their 'The auld club didnae die' ways But we all knew the truth of their Big Lie ways. Debts? They have a few But then again they never pay them Their creditors are in a queue All waiting for some money fae them They planned each debt they dodged So they could dae it in a fly way But even so they're fucked in a goodbye way. Yes there were times I'm sure he knew Dave King bit off more than he could chew But through it all when cash ran out He got the fans to bail him out He spent fuck all  Yet faced them all that wonkie eye way. They've moaned, they've whinged and cried They've had their fill of Sevco losing While fans of other sides Just find it all so amusing To think they're still so crap In spite of spending all that money If I were a bigoted chap I'd find that funny. For ...

Hun fan! There's no need to feel down Hun fan! Pick yourself off the ground Hun fan! If you've got a spare pound There's no need to be unhappy Hun fan! There's a place you can go Hunland! Where they're aye short of dough Go there and I know you will find Many morons of your own kind. They need your money there ASAP To pay the wages and the PAYE Get your cash out now if you want to enjoy Hanging out with the Billy Boys. Hun fan! Are you listening to me? Hun fan! Where do you wanna be? Hun fan! At the top of the league? Then you've got to know what they need Dave King can't do it all on his own Hun fan! He's in need of a loan Get there without any delay Cos they need that money today. They need your money for HMRC It's no good shouting WATP Get your cash out now if you want to enjoy Hanging out with the Billy Boys. Hun fan! I was once in your shoes Orange and as thick as shite too Hoops fans told me Raynjurz had died I was so full of hatred inside That...

I was walking past Ibrox late one night When my eyes beheld an eerie sight For a zombie from his grave began to rise And suddenly to my surprise He did the mash (He did the zombie mash) His brain was bashed (That Hibs cup final clash) He took a slash (He'd been on the lash) Then sang the Sash And danced the zombie mash. From the Record office at Pacific Quay Radio Scotland and the BBC The press all came from their humble abode To join the dance in the Copland Road They did the mash (They did the zombie mash) Their hopes were dashed (Those title dreams were rash) Their sales have crashed (Their reportage is trash) They're unabashed They love to zombie mash. The zombie was having fun The party had just begun The first guests were Keith Jackson, Chris Jack and Chic Young. Regan and Doncaster were hanging around Jabba chained up like a rabid hound Fat Derek Johnstone was next to arrive With the supporters' bus from Radio Clyde They did the mash (They did the zombie mash) Their ...

'Right' said Dave, unlocking the boardroom 'The fans all think I keep the warchest here' We searched each nook and cranny Of that crook's lair Couldn't find cash in there And that was no surprise to me. 'Right' said Dave, 'We have to smash the place up' 'Stage a break in so the cops can see' 'That I'm missin' a pot that I can piss in' 'Claim on the insurance' 'And then I'll get some cash for free'. So then I had a think and I said to Dave 'I think I know the answer' 'Are you not just a chancer?' Dave said, 'You could be right, I'm well known for talking shite'. 'Right' said Dave, picking up a hammer Smashed the wall in with a heavy blow. That just left us Covered in asbestos Needing even more of his dough. Then Dave said to me: 'I know a scam with EBTs' And I said, 'FUCK NO!'